there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
