i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
