Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
