this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
