I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
