Ambien. No doubt about it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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