Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
