Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
