I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
