It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
