I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
