thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
