im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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