you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
