Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
