Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
