Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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