I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
