My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
