The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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