so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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