I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
