just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have fence marks all over my body
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
