Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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