He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
accomplished twins. life is a go
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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