So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
