The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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