hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
