Got a toothbrush?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
