I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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