id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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