You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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