Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize