What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
