we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
pray to the hookup gods
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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