So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
