This girl is more easily done than said...
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
