Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
