Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How external is "for external use only"?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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