we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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