Non-Jews are for practice
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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