P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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