They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
