for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
