I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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