Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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