dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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