Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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