i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
