let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
