Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
