just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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