i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize