We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
