Soap is not a condiment
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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