we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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