You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
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