wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
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I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.