he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
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my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?