He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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