planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
