Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
