Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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