Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
