you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
