I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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