We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
