I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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