I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
false alarm, still single
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
