i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
